WONDERFUL book by the mother of a child with severe
auditory processing issues, in which he appeared to be
hearing-impaired although his ears were fine. Uplifting
description of how the boy improved with intensive speech
therapy. - Paula Burch
Teri James Bellis: When The Brain Can't Hear: Unraveling the Mystery of Auditory Processing Disorder
A more scientific book than the above, but still
accessible, it goes into the various different TYPES of
auditory processing disorder, very helpfully. - Paula Burch
Russell Barkley: Taking Charge of AD/HD
The best book on AD/HD in your child, I got it because our diagnostician recommended it. Not just the
author's opinions, this book is filled with the results of
research. Quite reliable about medications, and helpful for
behavioral problems relating to AD/HD. - Paula Burch
Dr. Larry Silver's Advice to Parents on ADHD
Excellent book, describing not only AD/HD and what to do
about it, but also many of the various learning
disabilities that often come with AD/HD. - Paula Burch
Hallowell and Ratey: Driven to Distraction
[sources incl. amazon]
Found a great book with lots of info on ADD, support groups,
etc. It is written by two psychiatrists who actually have ADD
and that is also their specialty. So they are not writing the
book from the outside looking in.--Susan DeMeritt [from a post]
...one of the best, if not the best book out on ADD.
--Marshall Kragen [from a post]
This book is written more about adult than childhood AD/HD,
but is extremely useful for the parent of a child with AD/HD
in two ways: one, by describing how it feels to have AD/HD,
and two, because many children with AD/HD have an
undiagnosed parent with AD/HD who could use some help, too!
- Paula Burch
Nelson & Pescar: Should I Call the Doctor? (1986, Warner; 0-446-38189-X)
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
Although it covers infants too, I didn't really use this book
much till Beth was over a year. Organized into sections by symptom,
and lists sets of symptoms for which you should rush to emergency
(or call an ambulance), go to your doctor or a walk in clinic,
make an appointment to see your doctor in the next few days,
or mention it to the doctor at the next regular appointment.
Also a "what to expect" section explaining the tests and so
on that will probably be run when you seek treatment.
This book calms me down when I get frantic about fevers or bumped
heads or rashes. I don't worry that I'm missing something
life-threatening. I think eveyone should have a copy. -- Kate Gregory
"Taking Care of Your Child" Pantell, Fries & Vickery
[sources incl. amazon]
This book has medical and first aid help. It has flow charts
for each item covered. There are about 100 topics and
includes things like puncture wounds, sunburns, neck pain, bed
wetting, and colic. The charts help decide whether you
should be rushing to the doctor, making an appointment, or
applying home treatment. It covers what the doctor would
probably do and describes home treatment procedures also. As
a bonus, it includes a copy of the growth charts.
Kenneth Grundfast and Cynthia Carey: "Ear Infections in your Child"
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
I can't remember his exact name, but when we showed it to our ENT, he
told us that this doctor was a well-respected ENT. An *excellent* book
It was a great book since it presented all known alternatives for
chronic ear infections, and best of all, it was *not* a medical book,
but written in plain English that could be understood by parents!
I would imagine that your ENT would know of this book, or if not,
it would most likely be at the library. I just happened to spot it
one day in a bookstore right before B.J.'s procedure, and it really
made us feel comfortable with our decision [about ear tubes].
I have read a wonderful book called "Ear Infections In Your
Child" by Kenneth Grundfast and Cynthia Carey. It explains,
in layman's (aka everyday parent's) terms everything about ear
infections, treatments, surgery, antibiotics, hearing loss,
etc. Grundfast is the chairman of the Dept. of Otolaryngology
for Children's Hospital in Washington, D.C. I would strongly
suggest that you get this book. It is easy to read,
interesting and extremely informative. -Cindy Gorgone (from a post)
Ellyn Satter: Good Sense and How to Get Your Kid to Eat, But Not Too Much.
(Paperback, about $14.)
[sources incl. amazon]
This is in response to "Healthy diet" plus "HELP MY KID WON'T EAT"
and the "is this kid too skinny" type messages:
There is a GREAT book called "Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and
Good Sense" by Ellen Satter (Is it Sather? No I think it is Satter)
that does a wonderful job on how much food is enough, is your child
eating enough, is your child eating too much, etc. It covers
everything from breast feeding up to teens, but is ESPECIALLY good
with tips on _toddlers_ and young pre-schoolers and why you usually
don't need to worry about how much they are eating and why you usually
should not make a big deal out of their food choices. I seem to
recall that there are toddler menu plans in the book.
This book was the best baby shower gift I received. I read it, my
hubby read it, we followed the advice, and my three-year-old has
always eaten two of three meals a day with gusto. (Sometimes she is
more hungry at lunch time, other times she is more hungry at dinner
time.) She has often been a bit above average in height and a bit
below average in weight, but then again, my husband and I are both
relatively tall and fairly thin. There are some foods she doesn't
like, but you know, there are some foods I don't like, either.
I received the book as a gift from a dietitian friend, but I have
found it at Walden Books and given it to friends as a baby shower
gift. It is a good book to read BEFORE you start getting into fights
with toddlers who won't eat.
-- Jennifer Gassman [posted]
It covers feeding your child from infancy through toddlerhood. I got
it around the time Karen started on solids, so I don't know how good
the first chapters are. But I did take a glance through and they
seemed useful. It covers nutrition and how to progress from stage
to stage. It gave pros and cons for buying baby food vs making your
own. It was very helpful for me to know what to feed Karen and
when. It's got some great charts too.
Vicki Lansky: Feed Me - I'm Yours
[sources incl. amazon]
I found this book worse than useless. Many of the recipes
include food items that should not be given at all to children under
the age of one year, for fear of stimulating allergies, but the
warnings about this possibility are nearly non-existant. --Paula Burch
The best part of this book for me was information on making my
own baby food, since I wanted to make baby food as much as I
could. It also includes good information about starting
solids and has recipes for nutritious kid snacks.
Brown, Jeffrey: "The Complete Parents' Guide to Telephone Medicine,"
Perigee Books, NY, 1982.
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
The subtitle is something like "when to call the doctor and what to do
first." I like this book because it concentrates very clearly on
saying what conditions are *not* emergencies. Every page describes a
different disease, accident, or other medical misadventure, and is
organized along the lines of: if X then don't worry, if Y then call
your doctor, if Z then this is an emergency. It's well organized and
indexed; it includes some fairly mundane subjects like diaper rash as
well as the usual collection of diseases and injuries. There's an
introductory section that covers how to act and what to say when you
call your doctor -- I would have thought this silly, but our
pediatrician clearly loves us for being prepared when we call him.
A gift from my RN sister-in-law, it's the only book we keep handy.
Biracree and Biracree: "The Parents' Book of Facts"
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
Very good, basic book which is a good resource. It is especially
thorough on the benefits of breastfeeding over formula--just the
facts, and no value judgments thrown in.
George Wootan & Sarah Verney: _Take_Charge_Of_Your_Child's_Health
[sources incl. Chinaberry and amazon]
I recently got a wonderful new book on children's health care. For
years I've been looking for a book on kid's health that doesn't tell
you to rush your kid to the doctor every time she runs a fever. (In
our house, high fevers always hit at 2am.)
This book tells you what to watch for and when you SHOULD rush your
child to the doctor. It also tells you how to give first aid for
medical emergencies from electrocution to a knocked out tooth. It
also spends a lot of time on basic health and comfort measures for
mild childhood illnesses. There's a really good section on choosing
and communicating with your child's doctor.
The basic assumptions of this book include:
Parents are the best experts on their children's health.
Parents have the best interests of their children at heart.
Parents are intelligent.
The whole child is important.
I got this book from Chinaberry (1 800 776 2242). It's a real boon
for me since I prefer to let nature do the healing, but I also worry
when my kids are sick.
Martha and David Kimmel: Mommy Made* (* and Daddy too!)
[sources incl. amazon]
By Martha and David Kimmel
Published by Bantam
paperback - $13.95 (2.5 years ago) ISBN 0-553-34866-3
I bought several, but the best I found, and
with the most detail was It really covers a lot of ground, including when to introduce what foods,
and all sorts of hints for cooking and storing of the food. They have
toddler recipies too.
The Colombia University College of Physicians and Surgeons Complete
Medical Guide
[sources incl. amazon]
a must for every home, IMHO. It is comprehensive, has
nice illustrations, is easy to understand, and provides enough
information to get you really worried and right into the closest
medical library.
-- Marjorie Peskin [posted]
Although you'd expect it to be silly, given the name, this
is an excellent anatomy book, far easier to use than Gray's
Anatomy, and with much more useful detail. -anonymous
Taber's Medical Encyclopedia
[sources incl. amazon]
great for terminology so you can have very technical conversations
with your doctors and not sound like an idjit.
-- Marjorie Peskin [posted]
great for the more arcane, but still totally interesting facets of
medicine, but beware! All the photos in this book are worst case
scenario. Take a look at the one for goiters and you will be running
for the nearest bathroom YUCK! (And as a close personal buddy of the
author, I can attest that the writing is magnificent in this book,
and the author is a totally wonderful person as well).
-- Marjorie Peskin [posted]
great for most kids stuff, but I don't think a parent should
rely totally on his words. Some of the information is too sparse for
me. I always want more, and consult other books as well.
-- Marjorie Peskin [posted]
[see general baby advice section, above - each edition of this book is
completely different - Ed.]
And finally, no household should be without a PDR (Physicians Desk
Reference). You can get both over the counter and prescription
volumes. You don't have to have the current year unless you are
questioning a new drug. This has the most comprehensive information
about drug reactions, dosages, and includes all the drug trial
information. It can be scary to read at first, but if you do take
medication on a daily basis, it can help you to understand what side
effects this medication might have with other medications.
-- Marjorie Peskin [posted]
Helen Reisner. Children with Epilepsy
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
I highly recommend these books [for parents of children with
seizure disorders]. --Jan Silbermann [from a post]
Freeman, Vining and Pillas: _Seizures and Epilepsy in Childhood_
[sources incl. amazon]
I highly recommend these books [for parents of children with
seizure disorders]. --Jan Silbermann [from a post]
Dombro, Amy Laura and Bryan, Patty: _Sharing the Caring_. 1991; Simon
& Schuster/Fireside.
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
A good book on this subject [dealing with baby doing 'firsts
at daycare, etc.] --Carol Barclay [from a post]
Darrell Sifford: The Only Child
[sources incl. amazon]
We were considering this decision several years ago. When my
husband and I were trying to decide, we read [this] great book
It was an excellent book - dispelling many of the only child
myths and making it seem like an OK decision. --Jeanie Vella
[from a post]
My One and Only [author?]
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
Adds to the list of advantages and disadvantages...
It was a good book on the whole but the thing that surprised me
was that after dispelling the myths that onlies are spoiled,
lonely, unsociable etc., the author says she wished she were
NOT an only child in the last chapter! --Michelle Parks [from
a post]
Toni Falbo ed.: The Single child family
Sharryl Hawke/David Knox: One child by choice
1977. [OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
Kris Kline and Stephen Pew, Ph.D.: _For the Sake of the Children: How to Share
your Children with your Ex-spouse in Spite of your Anger_ (paperback, $10.95)
[OOP; try your library or perhaps amazon]
Very important for any divorced or divorcing parent to read.
(from a post)
Melinda Blau: "How to coparent, after divorce"
A very good [book]....Might provide an excellent start. I
think this is the correct title. But look under author's name.
It's fairly new book with lots of facts, research, and how to.
--Salim Khan[from a post]
Melinda Blau: Families Apart : Ten Keys to
Successful Co-Parenting. 1995.
[sources incl. amazon]
Pregnant While You Work
[OOP; try your library or amazon]
One I really liked was called "Pregnant While You Work." I dealt
mostly with the social and practical issues pregancy--dealing with
bosses, co-workers, insurance, looking professional in maternity
clothes, deciding when a job change is necessary, etc. I found it
very reassuring because even though my principal and fellow teachers
are very supportive (A good friend had a baby last year, so I got to
observe reactions before experiencing them), there are a lot of
practical concerns about getting the job done and taking care of
yourself properly. Also, this is the only pregnancy book I've read
that doesn't assume you can lie down for a nap whenever you don't
feel good (as if mothers home with children have that option
either). -- Debra Thorpe [posted]
Arlene R. Cardozo : "Sequencing"
[sources incl. amazon]
I highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking about trying full-time
motherhood or is making the transition to full-time motherhood or the
transition back to work. There's also plentlly of thoughtful insights
for those of us who are fairly entrenched as full-time mothers - I
felt it gave me a real boost and helped to bring together some of the
thoughts I've had about my role.
Pamela Lach: "You Can Go Home Again"
[OOP; try your library or amazon]
Another good book, mostly of interest to those thinking about quitting
work or just beginning the transition. Probably not of too much
interest to anyone beyod the transition stage, but lots of tips on
time management, financial management, goal setting, taking care of
yourself, etc.
Sandra Scarr: MOTHER CARE/OTHER CARE. ISBN 0-465-04734-3.
[OOP; try your library or amazon]
Got this book from the library. Don't
know if it's in PB and don't know how it costs. This book will
give great comfort and aid to the working mother. Contextualizes
the pressures on mothers to stay at home and raise their children
and systematically goes through the research on care for children
outside the home. Reassuring for working moms.
Arlie Russell Hochschild: The Second Shift : working
parents and the revolution at home. (Viking, 1989).
[sources incl. amazon]
Another good book for any couples is [this one]}.
This is not specifically on the topic of becoming
parents, but we found it really useful in making ourselves aware of
issues that will come up, especially when children enter the picture.
My Mom Worked and I Turned out Okay! 1992 or 1993; hardcover. $16.
[sources incl. amazon]
I saw a review of this in the paper. It's full of stories
collected from many adults whose moms worked when they were
children, generally as professionals; the reviewer suggested
it would be less useful for women in blue-collar jobs. Has anybody
out there read this yet? Supposed to be great against
excessive guilt. --Paula Burch
Bibliographies: WOH or SAH
A bibliography on resources for women who are not employed outside the
home can be requested from Colleen Porter at
cporter@afn.org, or accessed via the world wide web at http://www.afn.org/~cporter.
From: Jane Marcus [posted]
Bibliography: women who work outside the home
magazines
"Working Mother"
"Family Fun"
books and articles
Sirjay Sandar, "The Working Mother, The Caring Parent"
"My Mother Worked And I Came Out Okay"
"Working and Caring" by Brazelton.
Morrone: Pregnant While You Work (1984, Berkley; 0-425-08538-4)
"Sequencing" (author?)
_The Working Woman's Guide to Breastfeeding_ (maybe not the exact
title) by Nancy Dana and Anne Price
JUGGLING: THE UNEXPECTED ADVANTAGES OF BALANCING CAREER AND HOME FOR
WOMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES, by Faye J. Crosby. NY: Free Press, 1991.
KIN CARE AND THE AMERICAN CORPORATION: SOLVING THE WORK/FAMILY
DILEMMA, by Dayle M. Smith. Business One Irwin, 1991.
WOMEN'S TWO ROLES: A CONTEMPORARY DILEMMA, by Phyllis Moen. Auburn
House, 1992.
WOMEN AND THE WORK-FAMILY DILEMMA: HOW TODAY'S PROFESSIONAL WOMEN ARE
FINDING SOLUTIONS, by Deborah J. Swiss and Judith P. Walker. Wiley, 1993.
(From a bibliography compiled by Marge Karsten, University of
Wisconsin-Platteville:)
Baron, A. Sept./Oct. 1987. Working partners: career committed
mothers and their husbands. BUSINESS HORIZONS, 45-50.
Friedman, D. 1990. Work and family: the new strategic plan.
HUMAN RESOURCE PLANNING. 13(2): 79-90.
Hall, D. Winter 1990. Promoting work/family balance: an
organization-change approach. ORGANIZATIONAL DYNAMICS,
18: 4-18.
Hall, D. & Richter, J. 1988. Balancing work life and home life:
what can organizations do to help? ACADEMY OF MANAGEMENT
EXECUTIVE, 2: 213-223.
Martinez, M. 1993. Family support makes business sense. HRMAGAZINE,
38: 38-43.
Mason, J. 1993, Feb. Work-family issues go global. MANAGEMENT
REVIEW. p. 9.
McIntosh, S. 1993. Fast-trackers hone family skills. HRMAGAZINE,
38: 44+.
Ritter, A. March 1990. Dependent care proves profitable. PERSONNEL,
12-16.
Schneer, J. & Reitman, F. 1993. Effects of alternate family
structures on managerial career paths. ACADEMY OF MANAGEMENT
JOURNAL, 36(3):830-843.
Smith, M. Jan. 1990. Fighting to have it all. MONEY, 130-135.
Stoner, C. & Hartman, R. May/June 1990. Family responsibilities and
career progress: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
BUSINESS HORIZONS, 7-14.
Trost, C. & Hymowitz, C. 18 June 1990. Careers start giving in
to family needs. THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, B1, B5.
What do employees really want? July/Aug. 1990. ACROSS THE
BOARD, 14-21.
Wilson, M., Tolson, T., Hinton, I & Kiernan, M. 1990. Flexibility
and sharing of childcare duties in black families. SEX ROLES,
408-423.
Yalow, E. June 1990. Corporate child care helps recruit and retain
workers. PERSONNEL JOURNAL, 48-54.
Subject: #'s for grieving parents
I recently found a book, called "The Parent's Sourcebook". It has
a chapter on grief and mourning the loss of a child. [Included is a
list of all sorts of support groups for grieving parents, not
reproduced here--some are for parents who've had miscarriages.
Complete with addresses and phone numbers, it looks extremely helpful
--ed.] -- jcm5132 [posted]
Bryan Mellonie and Roger Ingpen: Lifetimes. (Death in the family) "The
beautiful way to explain death to children." Bantam, 1983. paperback.
[sources incl. amazon]
This book, suitable for ages ~2 and up, is a very good introduction to
the subject and idea of death. Its theme is that everything --
plants, animals, people -- has a lifetime, and that each lifetime has
a beginning and an end. It acknowledges that the end of a lifetime is
sad, but treats it as a natural and non-threatening event, as part of
the life itself. Best, it can give a child the vocabulary she needs
should she want to talk about her own feelings.
My elder daughter chose this book from the library as part of her
usual voracious (and indiscriminate) appetite for books, not because
we needed to talk about death at the time. However, on two subsequent
occasions when death touched our family, I noted that she had retained
both the vocabulary and the message of Lifetimes, and we were able to
talk more easily because of it.
....a really great book that I think does an excellent
job explaining death to children. It does it in a way which
is probably compatible with most religions and philosphies.
[Probably not for people whose religions explain everything
in detail.]
Helping Children Cope With Death (ISBN 1-890534-00-5)
[sources incl. amazon]
We got [this booklet] from the Dougy Center (The National Center
for Grieving Children and Families). The Dougy Center focuses
mostly on helping children who have lost a parent (or primary
caregiver), sibling, or teen friend, but most of what is in
the booklet applies to kids who are grieving for grandparents
or other close relatives. The booklet is about $10 and is
available from:
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children
3909 SE 52nd Avenue
PO Box 86852
Portland, OR 97286
(503) 775-5683
-Alan Jeddeloh
Other books useful for discussing death with children:
Fred Rogers: Talking With Young Children About Death, (Mr. Rogers'
Neighborhood), Family Communications, 4802 Fifth Ave, Pittsburgh, PA
15213. Pamphlet.
Earl Grollman: Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child.
1976. Beacon Press, Boston
[sources incl. amazon]
William Kroen: Helping children cope with the loss of a loved one: a
guide for grownups. [sources incl. amazon
and
Free Spirit Publishing (see Sources)]
Read [this book]. Yes, it was written a decade
ago, but 80% of the stuff is still real relevent. And most of the
stuff that has changed is really great because it has changed for the
better. It's nice to see that progress is being made, while seeing how
far we have to go. The author's name slips my mind right now, but she
was one of the original founders of Ms Magazine, and the only one of
the bunch to have kids. She's terrific. Her parenting wisdom sounds a
lot like things I read here on the net. At the time of the writing,
her kids were about 13 (twin daughters) and an 8 year old son. It's a
book I pull out from time to time to reread sections of. She did a LOT
of homework for the book and it's full of juicy references to other
books that someday, somehow, somewhere I would like to have time to
read.
Kathleen Odean: Great Books for Girls, More Than 600
books to inspire today's girls and
tomorrow's women. $12.95
[sources incl. Ms. Foundation
(see order form) and amazon]
Raising a Son
[sources incl. Chinaberry and amazon]
This book says that boys need to feel that being a man is a worthwhile
thing, and that they need to spend time with their father or an
appropriate stand-in in order to learn this. This certainly makes
sense, but I didn't need to read a whole book to learn it. The book
also discusses specific discipline problems with boys and teenage
boys, which may make it more valuable to some parents of boys (my boy
is too young for this to matter much to me--perhaps I would give the
book a more positive review if he weren't). The suggestions all seem
very reasonable and sensitive. - Paula Burch
The Courage To Raise Good Men
[sources incl. amazon]
I got a lot more out of this one than I did "Raising A Son".
One thing the author shows is that mothers often feel
pressured by society to push their sons away, especially when they
become teenagers, in order to help "make him a man". However, this is
probably the worst thing that one could do. It is the *child's* job to
separate from the parents, not the parents to abandon the child, at
any age. Good book, worth a reading. --Paula Burch
Mary Bray Pipher: Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves
of Adolescent Girls
[sources incl. amazon]
This is supposed to be an absolute must-read for all parents
of girls these days. It's generated a lot of discussion. I plan to
read it even though I don't have a girl, myself. --Paula Burch
Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, with Dr. Susan Allstetter Neufeldt
Things Will Be Different for My Daughter: A Practical Guide to Building Her
Self-Esteen and Self-Reliance
(Penguin: $14.95)
[sources incl. amazon]
I haven't read this book, but it got a very positive review in
my local newspaper: "the book of the year for parents who want
their daughters to fly by their own wings.....an unusually
important new book that offers concrete advice on how to
raise your daughter -- from infancy to age 22-- to be a
confident and capable achiever." --Paula Burch
Joan Solomon Weiss: Your Second Child. Summit Books. ISBN 0-671-25618-1;
0-671-25619-X (paperback).
[sources incl. amazon]
This book covers a LOT of topics that don't seem to get
discussed much in the usual file of parenting/pregnancy literature.
This is an excellent book for those who posted asking about material
that will help in the thought processes of 1) whether to have more
than one child, 2) the issues involved if you do/don't, 3) the various
benefits/drawbacks of spacing patterns (as above) and finally 4) tips
on surviving the second if you're brave or crazy enough to do it again
:). --Ann Helmers [from a post]
"The Bilingual Family, A Handbook for Parents"
by Edith Harding and Philip Riley, Cambridge University Press,
ISBN 0 521 31194 2 (paper).
[sources incl. amazon]
I especially liked the interviews with bi- and even trilingual
families, and the calm attitude towards bilingualism. Too often, i
think, especially in the States, multilingualism is treated as
something difficult and unusual - in reality, multilingualism is more
common than monolingualism, and most bilingual families haven't had
any special training. -- Cynthia Kandolf [posted]
Whole Child/Whole Parent is by far my favorite book on parenting.
This is a book that I like to keep around to browse when I have a few
minutes to spare. It's a combination of a lot of good practical
suggestions for raising children, as well as an exposition of a
philosophy of child raising that really appeals to me. It comes from
a "spiritual" point of view, but I'm non-religious and I get a lot out
of it. (However, if you have no tolerance for "spirituality" then
this book isn't for you.)
I've found things here that I haven't seen anywhere else. Here's an
example of a passage that runs counter to most child raising theories,
but it makes perfect sense to me:
"Surprisingly, praise may be just as harmful as shame and
blame. Personal praise suggests to the child that his
personal worthiness rises and falls according to others'
estimation of his accomplishments. In praising children
we give them the idea that they are good because of what
they do that pleases us. But when we don't praise them or
when we praise others, they feel diminished and unworthy.
"Praise also distracts the child from whatever he is doing
by implying that the value of his activity is getting
attention. It's a vicious circle. If a child has his eyes
on his parents watching him learn to ski, he is more likely
to fall or crash into a tree. This experience may at once
injure, embarrass, and discourage him. His skiiing progress
is impeded and his enthusiasm and self-confidence undermined.
Whether it's manners or artwork, the law is the same. A
child cannot have his mind on seeking approval and on what
he's doing at the same time. If his mind is not on what he's
doing, he is unlikely to enjoy it or do it well.
Paradoxically, the more a child's ego is bolstered, the more
insecure, discouraged, and even incompetent he's likely to
become.
I recommend that you skip around in the book, rather than trying to
read it linearly. When I started reading it I got bogged down in the
early chapters. Most of the good stuff comes later. It also has an
index so you can find passages that deal with particular aspects of
raising children. A great book. --jaj
and a dissenting viewpoint....
The book I found to be unhelpful was Whole Child, Whole Parent. This
book contains some really wonderful ideas and insights.
Unfortunately, they are so buried in a lot of metaphysical confusion
that it becomes a waste of time to look for them. maybe someone more
religious than I would understand what this book is talking about, but
I finally gave up about halfway through. This book was highly
recommended by a couple of sources and i actually bought it rather
than took it out of the library. What a disappointment!
"Rise Up Singing"
(A Sing Out Publication)
Peter Blood-Patterson, Editor paperback with a ring binding, $15.
[sources incl. Sing Out Publications, Chinaberry, Ladyslipper Music Catalogand amazon]
(Tapes may be purchased for learning the tunes, as well, for $35 a set.
Each set covers one of the chapters, or you can get a set that covers
all the kids' songs!)
This is the book that you need to get the words to
those songs that you want to sing to your children.
Chapters include: Lullabies, Funny Songs, Rounds,
Love, Peace, and Golden Oldies. Your child may be
the only audience that you ever feel confident enough
to sing to, but you should for both of you. It has lyrics
to 1200 songs.
I think that this should be on the list since there are so many times
when a parent wants to sing a song to a child, but may not remember
the words.
I'm not certain if this is exactly "parenting", but it should be on
some FAQ list, since I know that I've answered many questions directly
from this book.
Randall Colton Rolfe: You Can Postpone Anything But Love.
[OOP; try your public library or amazon]
those of us who are sensitive types do
feel a little sad from time to time. Children grow so fast, there
is a constant feeling of goodbye and hello. (Goodbye to the baby,
hello to the toddler, etc etc.) While I think it's best to focus
on the "hellos" for the most part, it's not so bad to acknowlege
the "goodbyes" periodically. They are a part of parenting as well.
There is a book I really like called _You Can Postpone
Anything But Love_ by Randall Colton Rolfe. The author, a mom,
thinks that these feelings can be lessened somewhat (paradoxically)
by fully enjoying your child at every stage (meaning every day, I
guess!) It's an inspirational book in many ways.
_Mothering_ magazine (ISSN 0733-3013), published quarterly.
Subscription Office: PO Box 532, Mt. Morris, IL 61054; 800-827-1061;
$22/year in US (as of Winter 1992).
_Mothering_ magazine is a great parenting resource. It's intelligent,
compassionate and covers the complete range of parenting topics from a
humanistic, holistic (in the best sense), natural point of view.
Articles and letters are always genuine, accessible, and immediately
applicable to real parenting, much like the best of misc.kids.
Even the ads are great -- they run lots of ads from small companies
selling alternative sorts of clothes, diapers and accessories, baby
carriers -- all those baby and parenting things you need, but can't
always find in stores.
Mothering magazine has advocated against vaccinations;
this has probably led to unnecessary deaths among some of the children
of readers who might otherwise have had their children vaccinated.
For me, this sort of irresponsibility is a major problem, in spite of
the pleasingly alternative character of the magazine. --Paula Burch
In its favor, it does offer a perspective on parenting and children
that one might not find in other more mainstream magazines, and it
does seem to have more editorial content and fewer ads per unit space,
but there are some things about this magazine that I really do not
like. The medical information can be outlandishly, frighteningly
wrong, including some statements against vaccinations that were
absurd. I was almost willing to believe they had some valid
scientific argument against vaccination, but after reading some of the
quotes from someone they call an expert, I find them completely
non-credible. In general, I find the tone to be dogmatic and guilt
inducing about the right way to parent (stay-at-home mom, attachment
parenting, homeschooling...) A recent article on teaching a child how
to ride a bike is a perfect example of why I won't renew my gift
subscription. no real information offered that could actually help
anyone else, just a touchy feely kind of essay about the emotions that
a man had while teaching his son. Interesting and valid if you are
looking for creative writing, but not what I am looking for (plus the
use of a helmet was never mentioned, nor anything to do with teaching
safe riding skills.)
[And another one....]
I consider myself a hands-on, holistic mother. I had natural
childbirth, nursed my babies for two years, carried them in a sling
instead of a stroller, slept with them, and memorized _Siblings
Without Rivalry_. BUT I also had them vaccinated, circumcised my son,
used disposable diapers, and worked full-time outside the home. I
soon got sick of Mothering's trying to make me feel guilty for my
choices, and eagerly let my gift subscription lapse. Where do the
editors get their chutzpah?
Parents
American Baby
Thanks to everyone who responded to my query about parenting
magazines. Of the two I mentioned, Parents and American
Baby, Parents won by a landslide. I also found out that
American Baby offers a free six-months to expectant moms,
which I don't think I'll refuse, since I've got nothing
to lose. I'll probably get one issue of Parents, and
subscribe if it's interesting. Of the responses I got,
about half made negative comments about American Baby, and
I don't think anyone felt it was better than Parents.
Ironic thing is, the subscription prices are comparable
(unless you're expecting, as I mentioned above).
--Nancy Fisher Hansen [posted]
Parenting
Child
The two others most mentioned were Parenting and Growing
Child newsletters. Parenting seems to be the alternative
to Parents, and was cited by a few as being more intellectual
and less conservative than Parents, but still more people
preferred Parents, many saying that they had been reading
it for years. Growing Child is not a magazine but a
newsletter tailored to your own child's age. Sounds pretty
neat... --Nancy Fisher Hansen [posted]
As for other magazines, I used to think that "Parents" was the only
one, and it was useless collection of advertisements with a few
content-free articles thrown in. But I recently was given a stack of
"Child" and "Parenting" mags, and have found them to have interesting
articles with real content, depth and coverage. Still lots of ads, I
probably won't subscribe, but if you are looking for a magazine, these
are worth thinking about.
Any book in print should be available from any "real" bookstore by
special order--if you have the author's name or title, the
bookstore's copy of "Books In Print" should help you to find any other
information you need. In many cases, however, discount chains do not
even attempt to provide all books in print; I've had the worst luck in
searching for books at a local SuperCrown.
A good source for children's books and some stuff for parents is
the Chinaberry Book Service (2780 Via Orange Way Suite B, Spring
Valley CA 91978; phone 1-800-776-2242). The reviews are quite helpful, and the
parenting books are few in number but generally among the best.
Rosie Hippo's Wooden Toys carries a fine selection of the rarer
parenting books, such as "Without Spanking or Spoiling"; Their number
in the US is 1-800-385-2620; their address is Rosie Hippo's Wooden
Toys, Rosehip Farm, Inc., 344 Bay Ridge, P.O. Box 2068, Port Townsend WA 98368.
Animal Farm is a sweet little catalog of non-competitive games and an
interesting and thought-provoking selection of parenting books. I'll
be inserting more information on it here soon.
Free Spirt Publishing has a catalog with excellent parenting books
(attention--parents of gifted and talented or learning disabled
children, especially!), as well as the kind of self help books for
older kids I wish I'd had, at that age. Call 1-800-735-7323 in the US;
in Minnesota or outside the US, call 1-612-338-2068. Their address is
400 First Avenue North, Suite 616, Minneapolis MN 55401-1724. They
appear to have an e-mail address: help4kids@freespirit.com.
For recordings and books related to music, such as the wonderful Rise Up
Singing, you can order from the nonprofit woman's music company
Ladyslipper at 1-800-634-6044; the address is Ladyslipper, Inc., PO
Box 3124-R, Durham, NC 27715.
One of several large on-line bookstores may be found at Amazon books; their search
capabilities are extremely helpful. Links have been added throughout
this FAQ to books in Amazon; this provides access to additional
information on many books, and on whether or not a book is currrently
in print. If you were to elect to use these links to add a book to
your Amazon.com shopping cart, you would be charged the same
discounted price as usual, but this web site would also obtain a small
"kickback" fee from Amazon if you were to ultimately buy the
book. While it would be nice to have this fee to help support the
costs of maintaining this web site, this FAQ is not here to be a
money-maker, and I am not trying to persuade any readers to use the
Amazon bookstore if they would not already have done so. (Total
theoretical revenues, not actually seen yet, currently stand at $2,
orders of magnitude less than I've spent on this site.)
Many thanks to contributors, including but not limited to:
Joanne Cook
Kalen Delaney
Laura Dolson
Laura Floom
Helen Gorman
Kate Gregory (Kate has a list she updates
every year or two; her 1991 edition is included here, somewhat
fragmented to fit under the different categories.)
Judith H.
Nuhad Jamal
Peter Kaminski
Lisa S. Lewis
Diane C. Lin
Heather Madrone
Dorothy Neville
Pat
Steve Samuels
Kate Smith
Clarke Thacher
Shirley Traite
Judy Leedom Tyrer
Marilyn Walker
Earlier contributions are not individually attributed to their contributors,
as that is the way the list was originally started by Judy Tyrer. Later
I made an effort to include correct attributions, but cannot
correct the older material. Please accept my apologies, and send me
corrections, if your words appear here uncredited.
WONDERFUL book by the mother of a child with severe
auditory processing issues, in which he appeared to be
hearing-impaired although his ears were fine. Uplifting
description of how the boy improved with intensive speech
therapy. - Paula Burch
A more scientific book than the above, but still
accessible, it goes into the various different TYPES of
auditory processing disorder, very helpfully. - Paula Burch
The best book on AD/HD in your child, I got it because our diagnostician recommended it. Not just the
author's opinions, this book is filled with the results of
research. Quite reliable about medications, and helpful for
behavioral problems relating to AD/HD. - Paula Burch
